So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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