My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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