I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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