im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
