dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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