Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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