Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
