Your face is a jimmy john
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
