Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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