Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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