i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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