if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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