After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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