well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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