Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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