I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
