Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
