After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
