Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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