That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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