Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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