found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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