His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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