Christians are straight up FREAKS
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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