She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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