he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
