He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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