Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
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