There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
