They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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