Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
