So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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