i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
