I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
