I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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