Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
