i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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