it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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