So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
