Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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