I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
