I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
