playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
