they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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