imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sext me about skeletons
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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