Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
