Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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