What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
