Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
