Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
